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Pennsylvania
Best state in the union ... even though it is really a commonwealth. Without it, the colonies would have fallen apart. However it suffers from having the Philadelphia Flyers, who haven't won a cup since 1975. Pennsylvania is the first state in the United States, even though people say Delaware is. One of Pennsylvania's "finest" cities is Pittsburgh, colloquially know as "the Burgh". They make a mean Primanti's Bros sandwich with fries on it that will turn your life upside down and rock your world. Primanti's, when not being used to end world-hunger, can be used to ward off bears and liberals. Pennsylvania also is famous for Penn State, which is famous for it's invention of the primitive game of football. Also, if you are driving in Philly you will need a car that has: a.. A horn b.. A gun But it doesn't have to have: c.. wheels d.. driver's license. Famous People from Philly * Will Smith * The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air * Punxsutawny Phil * That guy from the movie Philadelphia. You know, Mr. Philadelphia Is There Anything Outside Philly? Yes, including the awesome city of Pittsburgh, which is better than Philly in every aspect. History The Commonwealth was originally divided into 3 states. The Independent state of Philadelphia was originally settled by non-violent peacenik Quakers. Gradually the population of Philadelphia degenerated into raving lunacy due to the constant irritation of having to live in a city of 2 million non-violent peacenik Quakers. The middle part of the state was settled by Germans. The "Pennsylvania Dutch", as they are called, continue to service America's sweet-tooth with milk Chocolate and walk around in lederhosen (Don't believe it? Go look!). Western Pennsylvania is populated by Austrians and Irish Catholics. No one is sure how they got there. When American pioneers reached Fort Pitt the Austrians and Irish were already there, milling steel. In 1936, the 3 areas signed a treaty merging them into 1 State, named Pennsylvania. Achieving Statehood * George Washington needed backup to kill the British, so Pennsylvanians helped him. Then, George made the state the 1st state. Pennsylvania Today Pennsylvania is the best state, unless you count the Flyers, which suck. Pennsylvania has a horrible city called Philadelphia, which is one of the worst cities. Pennsylvania is believed to be the opposite of Kansas, due to its non Ecuadorian bands, its lack of boredom, and its lack of educated people in Philly. Pennsylvania Landmarks * The Broken Bell of Liberty * Sheetz * Tom Mix's Birthplace (complete with open well and outhouse with directions for using (picture coming soon)) * The "Mason" part of the Mason-Dixon Line * Breezewood, Pennsylvania Famous Pennsylvanians * Steven Sheetz * Sensei Maekawa * Rick Santorum * Mario Andretti A Typical Day in Pennsylvania Getting whatever you want. *Rioting for lack of football and out of boredom Sheetz or Wawa Sheetz, you simpleton! Everyone knows Sheetz dominates the state in quality and quantity! Wawa is straight ass! External Links * Charitable Organizations in Category:Greatest Americans